Save The Last Lapdance For Me

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They do what? Yep, that's the traditional answer given when your best friend's older brother first told you about strippers. That image of a woman, an older woman, taking her clothes off in front of you while you look right at her was embeded into a special spot located in every male brain, whose only purpose is to lock that image away forever and make it magically appear whenever you want. Turns out that is the one memory the male brain always makes available on demand in all it's grand nudy glory.

Believing that these women did this for a living was one thing, but to think that stripper etiquette provided for touching and grinding her body parts into your lap? No way! Well guess what? Yeah buddy, for a few extra bucks an agreeable stripper would, in fact, rub her bottom on your top for a whole song! This became known to us as a lap dance, and it quickly became one of the most important items on our adolescent to do list. Imagine, a girl that doesn't even have to like you back doing such things...Brilliant!

As you became older and had the exotic pleasure of actually experiencing a lap dance or two, or twelve, the thrill somewhat diminished, but still always remains on that older version of our adolescent to do lists.

One thing we should all realize is that even if we have aged a little and lost some desire for that mysterious grinding woman in our laps, there are still young men out there with that fresh to do list. Lap dancing hurts or degrades no one involved. It is a win-win situation that provides a few moments of undivided attention from a beautiful woman & a little financial security for the extremely hard working strippers.

For some odd, and yet to be understood reason, lap dancing in Clark County, Nevada had been illegal, until recent voting that is. [1] Well Las Vegas is in Clark County and a better place to allow lap dances I can not think of. But now the law states that although lap dances have been made legal, strippers may not sit on your lap, they may only touch your legs, and inserting gratuities in the G-string is prohibited. [2]

In recent years we have become aware of toxins & disease in cattle, and have even seen workers on TV torturing livestock to get them walking to slaughter on their own. Do our schools still serve the same beef? Yes. Have we seen polititions accused of soliciting bathroom sex and other high power mis-doings? Yes. Have we seen our children left behind after we were assured they wouldn't be? Yes. (O.K. end of rant). All in all, our lap dance appetite seems rather mild in comparison.

So for all the strippers out there, please keep the real lap dances alive. They are needed more than you know. And for all the old farts out there who still keep their adolescent to do lists, go ahead and let that stripper grind your lap and tip her in the old G-string fashion.


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Written By Big B.

March 30, 2008

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